Conducive to Your Forgiveness
by MsLane
Summary: "I'm sure you could tell from my constant letters I was feeling the same. Nothing was the same after you left." Korra opens her mouth, to apologize perhaps, but Asami stops her, "Don't Korra. I know why you left and I'm not looking to place anymore guilt on you. And I was okay with you not wanting-" x korrasami


Asami can't stop her leg from bouncing up and down as her eyes shift nervously around the room.

Three years is a long time.

A very long time.

And she isn't even sure if Korra is going to actually-

"I hope you haven't been waiting long."

Her head whips around towards the voice she has been dreaming of hearing for the past three years, and she has absolutely no control over her body making its way towards the Avatar.

"Only if you think of three years as a long time!"

Asami's arms wrap around Korra's body and her heart flutters when she feels the slightly shorter brunette's arms draw her in even closer, her face burying itself in her neck.

"I never meant to be gone so long. I'm so sorry."

Asami pulls herself away, just enough to look at Korra, and says, "Don't. Please don't apologize. Not now, and not like this. I've missed you _very_ much."

The Southern Water Tribe native smiles sheepishly, her face flushing as she locks her eyes with Asami's green emerald gems, taking a small step back to emphasize how serious she is, "I've missed you too Asami. I've wanted so badly to come back sooner. To see you- I just-"

Asami gently raises her hand to interrupt the brown haired girl, "We'll talk later Korra, I promise. Let's just go to dinner. Mako is waiting for us."

Korra gives her a small smile as she nods her head, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly, "That sounds good to me…though, maybe, when we talk- we could do that on our own?"

Asami laughs lightly as she nods her head and says, "Of course. By the way-" she reaches out and gently tugs on a lock of hair, hair that is shorter than she's ever seen it on Korra, "I'm loving the hair." She tucks it behind Korra's ear and can't help grinning as she watches her cheeks blush.

"Thank you." The younger brunette says as her blue eyes twinkle as she desperately tries to hide her blush.

The smirk on Asami's face is enough of a clue for Korra to realize she's been found out, which only causes her to blush even further.

Xoxox

Korra grins as she sees Mako makes his way towards them, her eyes dart over his form taking in the changes.

She's surprised when he starts going in for a hug but she steps into it willingly. After all, three years is a long time.

Dinner is going well and it honestly surprises Asami how easy it all feels at the moment.

Korra is equally as surprised. She had been expecting some bumps and hiccups as they would try and work their way towards being in sync.

It's Mako that ends the night early, citing his job being of utmost importance and his need for an early sleep to wake the next morning.

He's only slightly disappointed when neither woman looks to be very sad about that.

Korra glances at the beautiful woman across from her once Mako has turned his back to them and leaves, "So, what do you say I grab us some dessert and we can take it back to yo-" her eyes widen as she quickly stutters out, "Oh Spirits, I didn't mean to assume- Oh man- Asami, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to overstep my-"

However, the taller brunette waves her hand as she giggles, "You haven't even finished your sentence for you to have overstepped." Green eyes sparkle as she continues, "Besides, you'd hear no objections from me to some yummy desserts to be had at my home, where we _both_ would be much more comfortable."

Korra knows her face is flushed and that only serves to make her heart pound further.

'It's been far too long since I've felt like this,' she thinks as she slips out of the booth and makes her way towards the dessert trolley.

Xoxox

"Oh Korra! You remember my favorite!" Asami exclaims, her voice giving away just how surprised and pleased she is at this notion.

Korra shrugs nonchalantly, a grin playing at her lips as she slips beside Asami on the couch, "Of course I do. Three years may be a long time, but not a day went by where I didn't think of you and how much I've missed your company and thought of all our times together."

The Southern Water Tribe native can't believe she willingly said all of that without being prompted.

Asami realizes this as well and she appreciates it more than Korra will ever know.

"I'm sure you could tell from my constant letters I was feeling the same. Nothing was the same after you left."

Korra opens her mouth, to apologize perhaps, but Asami stops her, "Don't Korra. I know why you left and I'm not looking to place anymore guilt on you. And I was okay with you not wanting me to accompany you-"

Here, Korra does interrupt by gently taking hold of the taller woman's hands and saying, "Don't think that I didn't want you there because of something you'd done. I just-I couldn't bear the thought of you seeing me so weak and helpless at a time when I should have been getting stronger. I didn't want you to see me so angry and I most definitely didn't want to lash out at you. I-I wasn't the easiest person to be around and…I was-am- frightened that I'll say or do something that will make you hate me; all because I'd be angry and frustrated."

Asami nods her head slowly, gently squeezing Korra's hands, understanding more than Korra thinks, "I-know it's difficult for you right now Korra, but-thank you for telling me. For confiding in me all this time. It means the world to me."

The younger woman shakes her head slightly, "There isn't any words in any language to describe to you how much _you_ mean to _me_. All these years have gone by and it was you that helped keep me going."

She pauses before sighing, dropping her eyes to their still entwined hands, and quietly confessing, "I…actually am glad in a way that I asked you not to join me."

Asami doesn't react outwardly except for a widening of her eyes.

Korra continues, "Only because I would have lashed out at you if you were around at some point, and that's not something I ever want to do. You don't deserve me lashing out, and that would have made me even worse because I'd have once again hurt someone I never want to hurt in the first place."

Asami gently squeezes Korra's hand and says, "I will never get over just how much you care." She squeezes again and waits until azure eyes meet hers before saying, "I would have understood if I was there with you and you did lash out. I wouldn't have held it against you."

Korra nods, "I know. But I would totally hold it against me, on your behalf."

The taller brunette chuckles, "Well then, I suppose it's a good thing I did what you asked and stayed away. That is I kept away except for all those letters."

The Avatar smiles adoringly at Asami, "I'm grateful for each and every one of those letters."

The two fall into lighter topics after that as they both share dessert; Asami even breaks open a bottle of wine for them to indulge in, but the both of them nurse their glasses, neither wanting to run the risk of getting drunk and forgetting a single moment.

It's only after the two cleaned up and resettled on the couch in front of the fireplace that conversation turns slightly more serious again.

"I've visited my father today actually. For the first time since he's been arrested and sent to prison…"

Korra's eyes widen slightly. She really wasn't expecting that to be something out of Asami's mouth.

"And-did it go okay? A-are you sure you should even-"

Korra cuts herself off, realizing that she probably doesn't have a right to question her decision to see her father.

Asami apparently agrees because she looks flustered and livid, "How can you even think to ask me that? Don't you think I know what _my_ father is capable of? You don't just get to disappear for years and then waltz back in and act like no time has passed. We've _all_ had to learn to try and move on and live life without you. Even if we didn't _want_ to. _You're _the one that pushed me-us- away. And contrary to what you may believe? I _can_ think for myself. Before meeting you, I had to do things like think, on my own. I'm _very_ aware of what my father has done- so I don't need you questioning whether it's wise or not to go visit him while _he's in prison_."

Korra isn't even the least bit angry at Asami for her outburst. She does, after all, feel like she deserves it.

She watches Asami as the engineer shuts her eyes and breathes deeply; an attempt to try and regain her composure and to stop herself from crying.

Korra lets the silence stretch on for a few more beats before carefully placing her hand into Asami's. The action has the taller brunette opening her green eyes.

"I am so sorry Asami. You're right. You're absolutely right- I haven't the right to just come back all of a sudden and just act like I haven't been gone for ages. I don't have the right to question your judgment when mine has been so out of sorts. I take full responsibility for my absence and stupidity. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life 'sami, and the biggest regret I have is pushing _you_ away.

I didn't mean to come off sounding patronizing when I asked what I did about your father- I absolutely have no right to question you- all I can say is that I just worry and care very much about you. And what I meant was-are _you_ okay with going to see him. How do you feel after going…I just really am sorry Asami. For everything."

Asami valiantly tries to keep herself from crying, she really does, but the tears leak from the corner of her eyes and it takes everything in her not to duck and hide her face away from Korra's eyes.

She lets out a shuddering breath, her green eyes brighter than usual due to the tears, "I forgive you."

It comes out as a whisper and Korra wants more than anything to be able to take back the mess she's made.

But Asami isn't finished there.

"I forgive you Korra. I forgive you, and like I said, I understand why you left. I get it, I just don't understand why it had to be so long, or- why you couldn't have let me be there for you- when I was _so willing_ to be. I'm…I don't want to be mad at you Korra. I don't, but a part of me is. A part of me is very mad, and I didn't think I was until now."

Asami's tears start to fall and collect faster before they too fall, and Korra can't sit by any longer and just watch as this happens.

She wordlessly lifts her hand up to Asami's face, and she hesitates before forgoing her mind telling her not to, and gently places her hand onto the young heiress's cheek and wipes away at the tears that are falling-having her own fight with her emotions.

"I understand- I get it. I would be mad too Asami. I-you have _every _right to be enraged. And it's okay that you are. I just-I would love to be able to work on fixing this. I have missed you _so_ very much, and I will stop at nothing to fix what I've messed up by pushing you away, by staying away from you for so long, by just being my stupid ass self."

Asami leans into her touch then and shuts her eyes, allowing for a few more tears to spill over, and she chuckles breathlessly, "This…this is a start."

Korra wants to weep at seeing Asami smile when she opens her eyes to look at her.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you Korra." Asami says after a little while of them just sitting there in silence, eyes roaming across each other's face, "I just- it's a sensitive topic and I just was overwhelmed with you being back…do you forgive me?"

Korra's eyes widen at that and she places her other hand on Asami's other cheek to cradle her face gently in her hands, and says seriously, "There's nothing to forgive."

"I should have thought about it from your perspective though. You're only looking out for me. You're only ever looking out for me."

Korra allows her hands to fall from her cheeks and rest on her shoulders, as she gives her a tiny smile, "That's what you do when you care about someone. You look out for them."

Asami's eyes seem to twinkle, returning more to their normal shade of green as she asks almost playfully, "So you care about me?"

The taller brunette is slightly taken aback by the look of absolute determination on Korra's face as she replies, believing she would take the opening for a lighter more playful conversation.

"I care about you so much Asami. Do not doubt that for a second. I may have always been somewhat eccentric and sometimes rash, but nothing I have ever done was ever meant to hurt you or put you in any danger. Because yes…I care about you, very much, and I don't know where I would be without you."

Korra can't explain what gets over her when she opens her mouth and says that, all she knows is that Asami needs to believe that she cares about her. She needs for Asami to really believe her.

"I know…we didn't get off on quite the right foot. Because I was so wrapped up in my own head that I didn't even want to give you a real chance; but you're such a huge part of my life now Asami…and I've grown to care about you so much more than I originally thought I could ever care about anyone."

Asami blinks, eyes wide as she takes in Korra's earnest face, her blue eyes pleading with her to understand and believe her.

"I know that…my past actions have perhaps made you question things, but…I do care about you, and that's never been a question to me."

Asami launches herself towards Korra, her arms wrapping around her neck and squeezing her close, stopping the shorter brunette from saying anything else.

"I know." She whispers, "I know. And I care about you too Korra; and that's why I'm mad…because I care so much and I just wanted to be near you, to make sure you're okay and alive and well and healing…and I couldn't stand not seeing you or hearing from you."

Korra snakes her arms around Asami's waist and buries her face into her neck, taking in every bit of her as she can at that moment; once again wanting to make sure she commits her to memory. Not like she wouldn't be able to remember her in the years to come.

"I'm going to promise you something." Korra finally murmurs from her place in Asami's arms; she feels the taller one of them stiffen slightly and she knows Asami is probably running through a thousand thoughts so Korra quickly continues, "And it's something I will never break Asami, because I would never put you through this again. I promise to never leave you in the dark like that again. I _promise_ you, if I'm to go anywhere, I will bring you with me…if I can't, I will make sure to write you. I know-I know you have your business, and I would never ask you to just drop it and-"

Asami cuts in, "I would gladly join you wherever you may want to go. Regardless of my business…you are important and I can just as easily take care of business from wherever it is we will be."

"You've got a lot of faith in my ability to find you places that have good signals to send and receive messages from back home."

Asami chuckles, feeling the intensity of the moment return to normal. She feels Korra release the tension she had in her body, and that's when she finally pulls away slightly to be able to look at her face, "I've got a lot of faith in you period."

Korra blushes and she darts forward and brushes her lips against Asami's cheek, lingering there for a few seconds longer than strictly necessary.

Asami blushes furiously, her eyes getting blown as she releases a breath she doesn't realize she was holding, "That-That's also conducive to you being forgiven."

Korra giggles through her own blush as she says, "That's good…I'm glad. There'll be more of that then."

Asami simply nods her head eagerly yet graciously.


End file.
